hear my soul scream.. hear her cry for help. Its suckin my soul away.. The pain is tormentin her and tearin her into pieces. This is the worst form of torture.
No one understands, no one will.. NO ONE. So what if people care? Its only carin, it cannot change anything.. They cannot pull my soul out of the strong suction that is suckin it, pullin it into the dark hole.. Its cold..
My mom doesnt understand my pain.. My friends try but they will not know the pain.. I am in pain, u know.. Let me cry it out to you, oh God.. Hear my prayer.. Hear me out, PLEASE.
Why, why did u kill me? U have caused me to die a 2nd time.. and I am about to die again... U were my best pal, Linda.. U have killed me with those words.. My soul is going to disperse.. U'll never ever understand, in ur whole entire life.. U think u are ptiful and u think people should feel sorry for ya.. Then who will feel for me? Who will hear me cry? I have lost that hope, that love, that one and only. Can u feel my pain? Stop the pain.. Hold me back please..
I am makin belive that I am strong.. I am not.. I am not.. I am noT.. NOt not not NOt NOt! NOT at all... Dun look at me as STONG and INTELLIGENT. Deep inside me, there is a cut so deep that its bleedin non-stop. I want to scream.. I want to run into his arm and hug him tight n cry out loud and let him know the things he dun.. I want to tell him.. Tell him how much he means to me.. "the person u love most is the person who will hurt u most" He is the person I loved so much, so much... And he has caused me to bleed.. If I am the person he loves alot, then I have cause him pain.. I have hurt him, haven't I? I am a fool.. I am a fool.. A FOOL that all should juz leave alone..
I want to cry............... I really want to cry. But I am juz too used to keepin the weakness in myself.. People r so sued to me being strong. I am not.. I am...... I dunno who I am now, I can't read myself.. Its like, my weakness has cause him pain.. The person I love most, I have hurt him. I dun deserve anything from him..
I want him to forget about me.. BUt i want him to remember me.. Wad the fuck.. Wad the fuck do I exactly want? I duno! I fuckin dunno.. I juz want to cry.. I juz want to cry out loud and scream and trash every thing. The Selina people know, is not the real Selina. That Selina, real Selina is gone. I can't find her anymore.. She is gone.. Like the wind.. She is gone.. LOST and is not going to be able to come back. Though she really is trying to find the way back.. She is struggling hard...... to break free and to breathe..
Please... hear my cries.. Hear my soul scream.. Help me if u can... I am nothin now.. I am worst than anything u can think of.. A pile of dust, which will be gone when the wind blows.. SO weak, so frail.. I have hurt him.. I have cause pain in myself
Deep inside me.. Is empty. There is no core. NOTHIn left.
I will die, I will cut myself a zillion times to make u feel better.. I will cry out for u.. hear my cries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate myself. I hate myself
The memories.. The memories are hauntin me. They r lingerin here. There is juz so many things undone.. So many things we havent done. So many place we havent been to.. The promises, unfulfiled. Regrets and uncertainty is wad that is formin the core of my soul. I can't sleep.. I can't dream.. The memories, I will carry with me. I will use up all my strength and energy to carry them. I will watch u, be there for u.. Never gonna leave u alone in times when u need someone. I can be there not here. U may not understand, but it make perfect sense to me. Move on, my dearest. Dun pity me.. I dun need ur sympathy, readers. Learn from my mistakes. Get a feel of the pain I'm experiencing. Learn... Dun fall when u walk. BE decisive and never look back. I'm a bad example but u can still take me as an example of a failure. Dun take my path. Choose the bright path. Now, even if I want to, the light seemed to be so far away.. there's not even a beam of light shining.. the flame that was going out is gone now. I am using my sense of touch to find the way.. But I'm feelin so numb.
I am so lost..
I'll be gone foe 2 days.. I'll be in Malaysia.. So far away from him.. I dun wanna go there cuz I want to wait for his call.. I want to hear his voice, not to hear him tell me he loves me or he still cares but I hear him say that he's fine and he doesn't hate me. I dun ask for more.. Juz..... Ask him not to hate me..
**My Weakness has cause u pain**
No one understands, no one will.. NO ONE. So what if people care? Its only carin, it cannot change anything.. They cannot pull my soul out of the strong suction that is suckin it, pullin it into the dark hole.. Its cold..
My mom doesnt understand my pain.. My friends try but they will not know the pain.. I am in pain, u know.. Let me cry it out to you, oh God.. Hear my prayer.. Hear me out, PLEASE.
Why, why did u kill me? U have caused me to die a 2nd time.. and I am about to die again... U were my best pal, Linda.. U have killed me with those words.. My soul is going to disperse.. U'll never ever understand, in ur whole entire life.. U think u are ptiful and u think people should feel sorry for ya.. Then who will feel for me? Who will hear me cry? I have lost that hope, that love, that one and only. Can u feel my pain? Stop the pain.. Hold me back please..
I am makin belive that I am strong.. I am not.. I am not.. I am noT.. NOt not not NOt NOt! NOT at all... Dun look at me as STONG and INTELLIGENT. Deep inside me, there is a cut so deep that its bleedin non-stop. I want to scream.. I want to run into his arm and hug him tight n cry out loud and let him know the things he dun.. I want to tell him.. Tell him how much he means to me.. "the person u love most is the person who will hurt u most" He is the person I loved so much, so much... And he has caused me to bleed.. If I am the person he loves alot, then I have cause him pain.. I have hurt him, haven't I? I am a fool.. I am a fool.. A FOOL that all should juz leave alone..
I want to cry............... I really want to cry. But I am juz too used to keepin the weakness in myself.. People r so sued to me being strong. I am not.. I am...... I dunno who I am now, I can't read myself.. Its like, my weakness has cause him pain.. The person I love most, I have hurt him. I dun deserve anything from him..
I want him to forget about me.. BUt i want him to remember me.. Wad the fuck.. Wad the fuck do I exactly want? I duno! I fuckin dunno.. I juz want to cry.. I juz want to cry out loud and scream and trash every thing. The Selina people know, is not the real Selina. That Selina, real Selina is gone. I can't find her anymore.. She is gone.. Like the wind.. She is gone.. LOST and is not going to be able to come back. Though she really is trying to find the way back.. She is struggling hard...... to break free and to breathe..
Please... hear my cries.. Hear my soul scream.. Help me if u can... I am nothin now.. I am worst than anything u can think of.. A pile of dust, which will be gone when the wind blows.. SO weak, so frail.. I have hurt him.. I have cause pain in myself
Deep inside me.. Is empty. There is no core. NOTHIn left.
I will die, I will cut myself a zillion times to make u feel better.. I will cry out for u.. hear my cries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate myself. I hate myself
The memories.. The memories are hauntin me. They r lingerin here. There is juz so many things undone.. So many things we havent done. So many place we havent been to.. The promises, unfulfiled. Regrets and uncertainty is wad that is formin the core of my soul. I can't sleep.. I can't dream.. The memories, I will carry with me. I will use up all my strength and energy to carry them. I will watch u, be there for u.. Never gonna leave u alone in times when u need someone. I can be there not here. U may not understand, but it make perfect sense to me. Move on, my dearest. Dun pity me.. I dun need ur sympathy, readers. Learn from my mistakes. Get a feel of the pain I'm experiencing. Learn... Dun fall when u walk. BE decisive and never look back. I'm a bad example but u can still take me as an example of a failure. Dun take my path. Choose the bright path. Now, even if I want to, the light seemed to be so far away.. there's not even a beam of light shining.. the flame that was going out is gone now. I am using my sense of touch to find the way.. But I'm feelin so numb.
I am so lost..
I'll be gone foe 2 days.. I'll be in Malaysia.. So far away from him.. I dun wanna go there cuz I want to wait for his call.. I want to hear his voice, not to hear him tell me he loves me or he still cares but I hear him say that he's fine and he doesn't hate me. I dun ask for more.. Juz..... Ask him not to hate me..
**My Weakness has cause u pain**
posted by Selina at 4:05 am
