Hello peeeepz out there! HOW'R Ya GUYS N PRETTY GALS DOING?!
Things for me have been hectic.Havin to face the lost of my dearest granddad and facing work pressure, trying to cope with emotions and all.. It had been tiring. I am still tired.. haha.
But don't people always say, " everything happens for a reason"? Maybe these are juz some ways for me to learn the meanin of life.. I lost my granddad and it made me realized that I loved him so much, that he was very needed by all of us.. and that he's presence does matters a whole lot. His demise woke me up frm the take-people-for-granted attitude. Suddenly, I feel that I cud lose anyone anytime.. I want to spend as much time with those I love.. I wanna tell them I love them.. Cuz I didn't get to let my granddad know that I love him, I was too late.. I dun wanna be late again. My friends who were always there for me during my endless problems and sorrows, I wanna thank u all.. U all r juz so wonderful.. Thank God for these nice people on earth. And Chloe, thx for advising me.. Thx for telling me things that I dunno.. Thx for everything, I love ya.. Cherish, u have been the nicest person on earth to talk to. Thx for the time u spent in to talkin to me:) thank u for the motivation. Lynnette, U r my best friend, the best that I cud ever ask for. I know what u r going thru and I will be there for ya, always. Mark, my cow.. Thx.. THANK U! I dunno how to say wad I feel inside me.. U have been sensitive, that was wad I was craving for.. someone to be sensitive twd how I feel.. I feel so much better after thinkin and realising that there r people out there who cares.

I always wanted to feel important. I wanted to know that I am loved. I yearn to be cared for. I craved to belong. I am desperate to be understood. I hunger for attention. I thirst for the truth.
That was what I was wanting all along. Not for his undying love. Not his sweet-talks. I dun want everything, I juz want those.. I only wanted those to feel safe, its more of I needed those though.
It may be hard, may be demandin.. I dunno.. Maybe I was.. Maybe I am. I dunno..

I am starting to see abit of light ray.. To lead me out of the dark. Things are always not what it seems to be. Things dun always turn out the way u want them to be. Things dun happen for u. U have to react to probs, not sit there and wait for something to happen.. Not wait for people so pick u up. U fell, u get up. U fell again, U get up again. Find out the root of the prob and destroy that root. That parasite that is suckin ur life away, burn it! Learn abt the reality of life and the cruelty of it and memorise it, keep that knowledge with u for the rest of ur living life. Know who is good and who is not.. Keep those who r good and kick the asses of those who r not, or they'll stab ya frm the back. Recognise those who carry u and rememeber those who put u down.. For every prob, there is a cause. Know the consequence of ur doing and then make ur move. there is no turin back - do not take chances for granted.

**All I ever wanted, all I ever craved for.. was to belong**