Everything seems outta place now. My heart, my mind.. my feelings. It is because I try too hard or because I didn't try enough? I'm not sure. I'm feeling tired though. I don't understand it all. Why doesn't it make sense? Why do I have to go through all these? Is that what God has prepared for me, a lesson in life to be learnt? If everything happenes for a reason, can I know why is these happenin? I don't want my friends to be upset about my problems.. I don't them to be sad because of what had happened. They don't deserve to feel that way u know. I'd do anything to slove all the problems myself, without askin them for help but I feel too small.. I'm helpless!

I'm sorry, but I dunno why is this happening to me. I don't seem to be able to digest everything he said. I want to believe him once again but something's in me, doubt. I hate to doubt him!
Everytime I try to hold myself from thinking about the fucked up stuff, I fail. I don't wanna stress myself up for something which seem so small to u people. But I juz can't! Its small to u but not to me cuz its about myself and someone I had loved so deeply. 2 different kinds of thinkin-the positive and negative and its tearing me apart. I wanna forget everything, pls.. lemme forget EVERYTHING. Let my mind rest.

I want to be loved and be treated seriously. I hate lies, hate to feel jealous.. And I don't like confusion. Why so I have to be put through sucha difficult test so that u will know that I really, really love him so much? Its unfair! I hate this treatment. I deny it if people think I deserve it cuz I don't! I KNOW I DON'T.

Its simple, everything's simple.. But I dunno how to solve my own obstacle. I'm too tired to move on and there's no one there to push me on.
My prayers don't seem to be answered and I'm so sad!

Argh, enough of that kinda fucked shit.
Cafe Cartel called Edric already and he's gonna report for his first day of work today. THEY HAVEN'T CALLED ME! I need CASH now u know. I'm so damn pathetic, I don't even have money to buy contact lens solution! I can't afford a braclet which cost $8.90! I haven't been so pathetic for a long time! Lyon quitted him job at surf and ski cuz they pay is fuckin low... $3.50 per hour! That's way to low man surf and ski! For a shop that sells Fox Racing and Billabong~ U gotta pay more!

Sexy Netto is going to close down her blog *sigh*
She's thinks she's fakin to happy happy for everyone who reads her entries and she had had enough.. Wello, I dunno what to say to her.. I juz hope she'll be happier soon.

HAHA, today's the first day of school for Linda, I hope she likes her new school.

I have nothing more to say..
I'm sooo hungry!